*This blog post was originally published on my Tumble in January of 2017. I’m going to give Medium a try.
I’ve wanted to live in New York City since I was 17 years old, and it’s finally happening!
When I was in high school, my AP Art History teacher took our entire class (4 ladies) on a trip to NYC for a week to go visit all the museums. We spent days wandering through the MET, Guggenheim, MOMA, Whitney, and the Jewish Museum. We had stimulating debates about all the great masters. We analyzed every piece of art, sculpture, and building we saw. We vigorously sketched famous works of art in our notebooks that we had only until that moment seen in textbooks. On this particular trip, I ate a New York style bagel for the very first time, I saw my first Broadway show, I saw the Statue of Liberty… you get it. I fell madly in love with what Jay Z and Alicia Keys call “The Concrete Jungle.”
Years later my yearning for that city has only intensified. My best friend, Sarah Rumsey always talks about listening to your “inner child”. Well my inner child has been screaming at me at the top of her lungs to go sip champagne at cool, hip rooftop bars. I want more. I want to surround myself with the energy that New York radiates. I want to have other interests than just my job and what’s happening in tech. I want to rediscover my love of art, music, and fashion. With all that in mind, I decided to finally take the plunge and move to NYC. With a heavy heart, I said goodbye to San Francisco, a city that has been my home for the last 10 years. I said a painful goodbye to my best friend and life partner of 6 years. I signed a 3-month sublet in Greenwich Village. I packed 2 suitcases full of my coolest outfits and at 8am this morning I caught a flight to New York. Holy shit! I’m fucking terrified. My friends keep saying they are proud of me and that I’m being brave, but I keep having these moments of panic and doubt.
I’m on my flight rereading on of my favorite books called When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön. My dear friend, Ela Madej gave me this book back in August, 2013 and I’ve reread it a points in my life when things are a bit chaotic or sad or unknown. I’m going to leave you with my 2 favorite quotes from this book:
“The Essence of life is that it’s challenging.”
And
“That’s the beginning of growing up. As long as we don’t want to be honest and kind with ourselves, then we are always going to be infants. When we begin just to try to accept ourselves, the ancient burden of self-importance lightens up considerably. Finally there’s room for genuine inquisitiveness, and we find we have an appetite for what’s out there.”
I’m writing this last sentence as I stare out my window watching my plane descend on Newark airport. I’m realizing that I’m going to be ok. We are all going to be ok as long as we continue listening to our inner child and try to be brave while going after what we want.
❤
Jana
